Do I really need to explain this one? When is someone going to institute the death penalty for telemarketing? Call your local government representative, and ask them to get on it.
When they Call Ask Them For there Home Number,I am sure they will shit them self at this point but If they give it to you Call them every night right on dinner time.....
Aw, come on, admit it. You've seen 'em. You've snickered at 'em. Teenaged boys wearing baseball caps, wraparound shades, and maybe even racing gloves, proudly gunning the silly little 90 horsepower 4-cylinder lawnmower engines of their Honda Civics or 3-cylinder Suzukis. Typically, they'll take off from the stop light with a cacophony of noise, but they'll barely outrace the minivan in the next lane.
They have some of Daddy's money and they want to look cool but they can't afford a real sports car, so what do they do? They grab a little economy car, and they dress it up! Does it have gimpy wheels? No problem- run out and buy shiny alloy wheels, complete with such incredibly low profile tires that you almost can't see any rubber at all!
Does the body look plain? No problem- run out and buy ground-effects kits, and warp all of that useless shit around the bottom of your quarter panels and doors! Then, buy a spoiler for the trunk lid, and bolt it on as if you really need the extra downforce at 80 km/h (on the rear wheels of a front wheel drive car). You might even want to cut channels in your hood, for that authentic Ram Air look.
But for the coup de grace, they must commit the final atrocity. Yes, we all know what it is. It's the big fat exhaust pipe! They replace the exhaust system with a "high flow" system, so their little 90 horsepower engine will sound just like the throaty roar of a Dodge Viper's V-10! Of course, that's what they think. In reality, it just sounds like a lawnmower with a bad muffler, which is precisely what it is. In fact, it actually robs the engine of horsepower, because the engine's cylinder heads, intake manifold, valve timing, and fuel injection system were all designed for a certain amount of exhaust system back pressure (not that these dipshits would understand this).
If you drive one of these ridiculous little rally-car wannabes, take it from me: the ersatz rally-car look doesn't fool anyone. You don't look like Mario Andretti; you just look like a dork with a serious psychological inadequacy problem.
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no dick.
People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat?
When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dicknose, I paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and stare at frikken ceiling up there.
The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake!
People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole you fucking pulled me over!
